A Leap Of Faith

I am not sure if this has been mentioned before on this blog, but Avril and I are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (aka Mormons).

There are horror stories all over the internet about how our church mistreats people with gender identity disorder. Supposedly people with such a problem face little, if any understanding, are told they are sinners or that their condition 'comes from the devil' or some such nonsense.

I had a similar experience, but a new thought came into my head today like a light bulb: I hadn't approached the problem in such a way to promote understanding back then, mostly because I didn't understand my own problem at that point either. They treated me like some kind of sinner because I thought of myself in those terms. How could I expect others to be more open minded than I was at that time when the topic of discussion was me?

Since that time I've learned a lot about gender identity issues, how there's a physical cause behind them, how my brain is actually female for whatever reason. I've also found through blood tests and looking at other symptoms that I am partially insensitive to testosterone, which explains why I have a female brain and mixed development elsewhere.

And then I found an entry at the Mormanity blog with this quote:

I recently read your article on transgender issues. I am what many consider trans and I am also a faithful member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I am a Male to Female member.

No, I don't have an axe to grind. I thank you for your article! Well written and sensitive. I figured I might be able to shed more light on things.

The true transsexual is not a sexual deviant. I have kept my baptismal covenants and refuse to have sexual relations until I am married. And yes I can legally get married as a female. What happened to me was not a twist of fate...or an act of nature. It happened because my mother took a drug called DES. A drug marketed in the 60s to prevent miscarriage.

That drug was later classified as a mutagen...a teratogen. Translation? It screws with a developing baby to the extent it can alter gender attributes.

We do the best with what we are handed and we are at the whim of the evil designs of man. God did not make this happen to me...but as we both know this world is not a perfect world. If it were perfect...it would not be that good of a test.

Despite the hell I have endured I have chosen to keep the Lord and the church near me. What and who I am is not a contradiction in the terms of the church unless I make it so. For example flaunting it...making a big deal about it or acting immorally. That is why I am sending this to you privately because it is a private matter. My ward does not know about my past except for the RS president...Bishop and Stake pres.

Any way...there you go. If you have questions feel free to ask.

--Sarah

Sarah has the same condition as me, albeit from differing causes (I've asked my mother and she didn't take DES). Her local leaders accepted her as she is, even acknowledging that her spirit is female.

I didn't have the benefit of finding things out as soon as she did, but it proves that the church isn't systemically anti-transsexual. I'm sure if I went to church next Sunday in a dress and heels that there'd be a negative reaction, or that if I called the bishop and told him I was going to get sex reassignment surgery next week without any prior contact on the issue there'd be negative consequences. But that's not how we are supposed to interact with our fellow human beings, blindsiding them like that. They are human too, and their behavior can be seen as a normal reaction to an abnormal situation.

I decided to get in touch with my bishop and tell him everything. My history, my medical tests and my spiritual awareness that I have a female spirit. We'll see where it goes, but I figure I at least owe the church an opportunity to not be bigoted before I pass judgement on them and assume they are.

More here as it unfolds :)