Hello all

Hello you. I am starting this blog as a way to get out my frustrations. I often feel alone and I just need to let it out.

I am a mother of 2 with number 3 on the way. This is pregnancy number 7 and I only have 2 kids to show for it. Three have been miscarriages, one molar (you just might want to google molar pregnancy if you want to know what the heck it is), two successful, and still waiting to find out how this one goes. Making a baby isn't as easy as having, well you know what, as most people seem to think.

I didn't marry my husband rich and well with how the economy is we still aren't. Money seems to be hard to come by and doesn't buy a heck of a lot. And just when you think things are going to be ok this week some thing happens and takes up most of your paycheck. What a pain it can all be.

By the way, I only thought I married a man. Yeah, that's right I thought I married a man. Turns out that really he is a she. Did you know some times some one is born looking like one sex but is really the other? She was born looking male and so was raised as a male. Any time she showed any kind of girlie behavior her parents would chew her out and tell her she is a boy and is not allowed to do girlie things. Tried to make a man out of her. So as a result she fabricated this male persona that would be very rude, very unromantic(even more unromantic then your typical guy), and much more (over time I will go over it all). So lots of mental issues.

So that is my spouses childhood. Mine is just as dark if not more so. I was the victim of sexual abuse as a kid. The worst part of it was that it was a person I trusted and loved dearly. This persons job was to protect me, after all isn't that what most brothers do? I thought that they protect their sisters not hurt them. Over time I will talk about this more.

I hope in sharing my story with others that I can help some one know that they are not alone as I often feel. And I hope that it helps me to deal with it better. It will take time to go over it all. Sorry I unloaded so much in the first post but I think it is important that you know what the deal is with my blog.